The Art of Being Real: Navigating the Dilemma of Authenticity
“All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting ‘More.’
I was grinning like I’m winning, I was hitting my marks,
’Cause I can do it with a broken heart.”
Taylor Swift’s recent release, "I Can Do It with a Broken Heart," masterfully captures the complex balancing act of authenticity in today's world—the tension between staying true to yourself and the increasing pressure to present a raw or "real" version of who you are while simultaneously delivering professional results that exceed expectations.
We're inundated with messages urging us to embrace authenticity. Self-help books, career coaches, and corporate leadership training assert that it is critical to success, fulfillment, and well-being. Yet, the pressure to "fake it till you make it" persists, and often, we feel compelled to adopt a professional facade that prioritizes composure, performance, and adherence to workplace norms.
The inherent tension between authenticity and professionalism requires a delicate balancing act. We yearn for authenticity in our leaders, brands, and relationships. However, some aspects of ourselves may not conform to workplace expectations. The constant negotiation between staying true to ourselves, meeting external expectations for "authenticity," and fulfilling the demands of our workplaces raises crucial questions:
What does it mean to be authentic in a professional setting?
How can we gain the benefits of genuine self-expression while upholding professional standards?
Taylor Swift's "I Can Do It with a Broken Heart" poignantly illustrates this paradox. Her lyrics reveal the struggle to maintain a public persona while privately grappling with immense emotional pain. Despite her inner turmoil, she channels her truth into her art, delivering performances that are all the more powerful for their honesty. Swift instinctively understands when to share her vulnerability and when to meet her audience's expectations—a balance we all navigate in our professional lives.
This year has been a whirlwind of constantly navigating that tension. Last fall, I returned to work from parental leave, stepped into a promotion, and joined the leadership team. It was exhilarating. Then, just a few months later, I was let go as the company struggled to stay afloat. At the same time, I was grappling with a deeply personal truth that changed how I see myself. And then I was confronted with family challenges—heartbreaking decisions I never imagined having to make. It’s been a year of chaos and growth, forcing me to reassess repeatedly.
Amid all this, I’ve realized something fundamental: I struggle deeply when I feel out of alignment—when I sense that I’m not living in line with my values or feel compelled to hide or diminish essential parts of my truth. And yet, sometimes, it feels good to step into a shinier version of myself—to be seen beyond my human mess and reminded that I am so much more than the complexity I'm navigating.
Truthfully, especially right now, I often feel more like myself in those moments. But does leaning into the performance make it inauthentic? Or can these moments coexist with being true to ourselves?
Authenticity: More Than Always Being "Real”
Marketing guru Seth Godin challenges the misconception that authenticity simply means "being real." He argues that true authenticity transcends mere self-expression; it requires a deliberate commitment to align actions with values and purpose, even in adversity. Authenticity involves consistency, integrity, appropriate vulnerability, and a steadfast dedication to reliability and keeping promises.
Seth emphasizes that authenticity is not about impulsively following your feelings or saying whatever comes to mind. Instead, he defines it as "consistent emotional labour." This means steadfastly behaving in a way that reflects your core values and commitments, even when challenging. For Godin, a person or brand is authentic when their actions consistently reflect their stated values and commitments, regardless of whether someone is watching. It involves acting with integrity, consistently aligning actions with words, and building trust through reliability and follow-through.
This perspective aligns with Taylor Swift's honesty in "I Can Do It with a Broken Heart," which” demonstrates the power of vulnerability even amidst professional demands. SwifSwift'slingness to share her struggles while maintaining her professional commitments exemplifies the authenticity Godin champions—one that balances personal truth with a steadfast dedication to one’s values and responsibilities.
Brave Enough to Be Imperfect
Brené Brown, a researcher and vulnerability expert, delves deeper into the concept. In The Gifts of Imperfection, she defines authenticity as "the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are..” This requires the courage to show up imperfectly, to own our vulnerabilities, and to lead with our hearts — while still maintaining professionalism.
Brene’s perspective emphasizes that authenticity is not about constant self-disclosure but rather a conscious choice to be intentional and selective about how we self-disclose. While being true to ourselves can foster deeper connections and personal growth, it’s equally important to exercise discernment. Vulnerability is most effective when employed thoughtfully and strategically—to build trust, foster collaboration, or navigate challenges.
Why Authenticity Matters (Now More Than Ever)
The significance of authenticity has never been more pronounced, and it's not a passing trend. It represents a fundamental shift in how we perceive the workplace and our roles within it. Multiple factors have converged to make authenticity not just desirable but increasingly essential.
Evolving Workplaces: As workplaces shift towards flatter and more collaborative structures, trust and open communication become paramount. Authenticity, emphasizing thoughtful transparency and genuine connection, is the key to building successful teams.
Well-Being in Focus: The significance of authenticity has never been more pronounced, and it's not a passing trend. It represents a fundamental shift in how we perceive the workplace and our roles within it. Multiple factors have converged to make authenticity not just desirable but increasingly essential.
Social Media’s Influence: Social media's curated perfection has created a hunger for authenticity. We crave it in our personal lives and demand it in our workplaces. We crave leaders who are transparent, relatable, and unafraid to show their human side.
Generational Values Shift: Millennials and Gen Z, now the majority in the workforce, have grown up in a world of constant connection and open information. They value transparency and authenticity, and they prioritize purpose-driven work.
Pandemic-Fueled Reflection: The upheaval brought about by the pandemic prompted many of us to reassess our priorities and desires in the workplace. Authenticity, connection, and a sense of purpose have emerged as pivotal drivers of job satisfaction.
The Benefits of Authenticity:
Embracing authenticity has tangible benefits for individuals, teams, and organizations:
Connection & Belonging: When we show up authentically, we invite others to do the same. This creates a sense of shared humanity, deepens connections, and strengthens the sense of belonging.
Trust & Transparency: Authentic leaders build trust by being open and honest, even about their mistakes or vulnerabilities. This transparency creates a culture where employees feel safe taking risks and sharing their ideas.
Engagement & Motivation: Employees who feel valued and understood are more engaged. Authenticity empowers individuals to bring their unique strengths and perspectives to the table, fueling motivation and commitment.
Innovation & Creativity: Creativity flourishes in an authentic environment where diverse viewpoints are welcomed and psychological safety is high. Employees are more likely to take risks, challenge the status quo, and propose innovative solutions.
Well-being & Resilience: Authenticity is a powerful tool for well-being. It reduces stress, fosters self-acceptance, and builds resilience. When we live in alignment with our values, we experience greater life satisfaction and stronger relationships.
Finding the Balance: Authenticity and Professionalism
The key to navigating the authenticity paradox lies in finding the right balance. Authenticity doesn’t mean oversharing personal details or airing every grievance. Instead, it involves:
Knowing Your Boundaries: Understanding what’s appropriate to share professionally and what's better kept private.
Choosing Your Moments: Recognizing when vulnerability can strengthen trust and connection and when it might be a distraction or overstep boundaries.
Leading with Empathy: Being mindful of others' boundaries and perspectives and fostering a culture of respect and understanding.
Maintaining Professionalism: Upholding high work standards, meeting commitments, and communicating clearly and effectively.
Where landed
After a year of profound personal and professional challenges, I’ve come to see authenticity is about honouring your truth and story with openness and vulnerability, acting in deep alignment with your values, and balancing these in a way that’s mindful of context. It’s not just about "being real"; it’s about navigating and balancing these elements with intention.
In the next article, we’ll explore practical strategies for embracing vulnerability, fostering trust, and building workplaces where authenticity isn’t just encouraged—it’s genuinely supported.
